Frank Sinatra/Don Rickles: Nassau Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, NY

"HE TOUCHES his dick more than Robin Williams does," mocked my wife as a tuxedoed Don Rickles lumbered around the square, center-court stage like a punch-drunk fighter jabbing desperately for a laugh. It was a losing battle. Even an audience of Long Island duffers couldn't get it up for Daddy Dearest's Vegas-honed barrage of wife jokes, Jew jokes, Jap jokes, and black jokes.