Jack Barron, Sounds, 29 January 1985
"LAYDEEZ AND gentlemen, will you please take your seats for Dick Whittington now, the show starts in five minutes," wheezes a voice from the Tannoy of Harlow's Playhouse pub. Outside the conurbation's cultural Mecca it's snowing. There is no queue at the door. Inside Dick is wilting.
Total word count of piece: 2433