Oasis: C'mon America...Let's Ave Yer! Seven Mental Nights On The Oasis Tourbus

WITHIN FIFTEEN MINUTES of their plane taking off for Kansas, Oasis have assumed battle positions. Liam Gallagher is in the toilet with a couple of stewardesses, and Noel is raking out lines of white powder. Guigsy is contentedly puffing on a huge spliff, while Alan White beats up a swimwear rep from Idaho. Bonehead is left well alone as he runs up and down the aisles, dressed only in a Heartbeat-style police motorcycle helmet and complete American gridiron football kit, custom made in City colours. His personal stereo blasts forth with 'The Great Escape'.