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Olivia Newton John: Have You Never Been Mellow (MCA)

Robot A. Hull, Creem, May 1975

WHAT FEMALE singer would ya like most to sit in yr lap? Connie Francis? (too old) Cher? (too bananas) Bette Midler? (stinks under the armpits and between her legs) Maria Muldaur? (yawn) Helen Reddy? (virgin) Anne Murray? (ugly) Suzi Quatro? (she'd stomp ya in yr marbles) Answer: Olivia!

Total word count of piece: 420

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