Paul Revere & the Raiders: Punks Just Keep Getting Harder to Find

MIDDLETOWN, OHIO – As the car clanks over the first peak of the Screaming Eagle rollercoaster, poised to begin its exhilarating hurtle downward, I have just one thought: "Hang on to your glasses, boy! It'd never do to meet Paul Revere half-blind! He probably gets enough cripples to bless as it is, scouring the Mid-American outback on these amusement park tours!"