Showaddywaddy/Alvin Stardust/The Rubettes: London Palladium

WELCOME TO MIKE LEIGH'S Lollapalooza. Monstrous Brylcreem erections sway precariously, as gaggles of tiddly matrons giggle and jiggle the creases from their jeans. Unlikely lads with Mike Baldwin grins and Georgie Best crown toppers bite their Panatelas and wince against the tourniquet constraints of their perilously tight trousers. The air is a-buzz with the babble of bullshit, the crackle of crimplene, and the great smell of Brut.