David Bowie, The Woodentops, The Kronos Quartet, Microdisney: ICA Benefit, Dominion Theatre, London

FRIDAY NIGHT. Time to take in a show. Support the arts and all that, old bean. Arriving early at the Dominion Theatre the singer from Microdisney is already trudging about onstage. Head lowered as if to charge, hands clenched at his sides as if grappling with unseen shopping bags, spittle trailing freely from his mouth. The poor sod is obviously at the brink of... SOMETHING... but whatever it is, it isn't success. Microdisney and their music belch along alright, involving a lot of wear and tear on their part, but — in essence — their sound is the death scream of old iron. Any old, sweaty old iron. Precious little else. "Thish ish f—ing real, yur knurr..." splutters the singer, before nutting the microphone and staggering away. Women in the audience dab their brows with cologne and mutter words like 'raw' and 'vital' to themselves.