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Blondie: Blondie (Private Stock)

Robot A. Hull, Creem, April 1977

THIS BLONDIE SURE AIN’T NO BUMSTEAD! MORE MUSTARD THAN ANY DAGWOOD SANDWICH! Alright, all y’all lokul yokuls out there in hickland splittin’ yer sides at the NEW YORK WHAT’S HAPPENIN’ ROCK SCENE, it’s time to cough up some apologies ’cause Blondie is tuff enuff to please (skyrockets blast in festivity as Blondie’s name pierces the dark shadows with a neon glow, melting the wasted vinyl glutting the veins of anesthetized teendroids!!) Blondie saves the day, ya goobers.

Total word count of piece: 576