Lynyrd Skynyrd: Fifths and Fists For The Common Man
Jaan Uhelszki, Creem, March 1976
I already have two strikes against me: one, I am a Yankee, two a girl. I don't want to strike out because I'm a teetotaler, especially since I quickly surmise that this bunch of headstrong chauvinists casts wary eyes on the non-drinking population. After all, they are from Jacksonville, Florida moonshine terrain and anyone who can swallow Mother Nature's attempt at nailpolish remover and not frown can tipple to next Thursday and not notice. I know that there is no way I'm going to keep up with this bunch of barflies. However, even Lynyrd Skynyrd can get their whistles a little too wet and after that it's only matter of time before they're in their cups...on the floor, on the table...
Total word count of piece: 2682