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Lynyrd Skynyrd: Fifths and Fists For The Common Man

Jaan Uhelszki, Creem, March 1976

I already have two strikes against me: one, I am a Yankee, two a girl. I don't want to strike out because I'm a teetotaler, especially since I quickly surmise that this bunch of headstrong chauvinists casts wary eyes on the non-drinking population. After all, they are from Jacksonville, Florida – moonshine terrain – and anyone who can swallow Mother Nature's attempt at nailpolish remover and not frown can tipple to next Thursday and not notice. I know that there is no way I'm going to keep up with this bunch of barflies. However, even Lynyrd Skynyrd can get their whistles a little too wet – and after that it's only matter of time before they're in their cups...on the floor, on the table...

Total word count of piece: 2682