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Ugly Bald Bastard Speaks (to Phil Collins)

Steven Wells, New Musical Express, 3 March 1990

• He leaves the toilet seat up! He does stuff in the privacy of his own house! He's worth 22 million! He's not a rich arsehole, he's cheeky, chunky-knit, Cockernee chappy PHIL COLLINS, talking to bald, wizened pauper STEVEN WELLS.

Total word count of piece: 3572

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